ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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