I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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