He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
