I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize