I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
