Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
