Plan B is the new Plan A
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
