ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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