we have officially lost it.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
