Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
