??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
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