When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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