You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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