3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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