If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
