My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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