She is in my trunk
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Dicks are not precious.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
