Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
