school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
