Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
