i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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