I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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