you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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