Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
