please come you make the beer taste better
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
