I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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