Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
