remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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