New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i dont even know how to be here
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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