i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
