Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
