Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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