i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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