Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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