is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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