you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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