Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Someone signed my nipple.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
