Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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