im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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