I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
