Actions speak louder than pants.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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