wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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