Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
