Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
