If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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