I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
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