i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
