I look better un-naked...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The uberlube is also flammable
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
