Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
