and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
